I'm just amazed... Billy Corgan is a Christian??

http://www.everythingfromheretothere.com/2009/11/09/forgiveness-is-the-key-that-unlocks-the-door/

That's so awesome...

For those who aren't sure who Billy is, he is basically the smashing pumpkins... writing, composing, recording... you name it. If you are familiar with any of the Smashing Pumpkins music, you know that he was a very troubled soul who seemed to be adamantly against anything Christian.

Lyrics from "Zero" (from SP)
Emptiness is loneliness, and loneliness is cleanliness
And cleanliness is godliness, and god is empty just like me
Intoxicated with the madness, I'm in love with my sadness
Bullshit fakers, enchanted kingdoms

 That's just one example. From that mindset to this mindset:

When you are attacked, forgive your attackers, for they know not what they do. When you mess up, forgive yourself, even if you know that you shouldn’t be doing what you are doing. Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door....

I forgive myself for not meaning more, being more, saying more, doing more. I AM that I AM. If I choose happiness in this moment, it also means I accept my long list of limitations: I do not have the ability to fly thru the air, I cannot save all the babies from dying, I can’t sing a high A note, no matter how hard I try. There are, of course, many more limitations, but those are the ones that come to mind at the moment.

I forgive myself for all the dumb, silly things I have done. I forgive myself for all the dumb, silly things I haven’t done. I could explain each mistake to you point by point, but it would only attach me to your judgment and forgiveness. I could defend myself of all I stand accused of, but that would only make me guilty. After all, why would I defend myself at all? The act of defense alone would indicate some form of acknowledgment, wouldn’t it? That is the way it works in a system that knows no justice and no forgiveness. You stand accused for crimes against humanity, and they barely have the time to tell you why.

God knows my heart, just as God knows your heart. So, what if God is nothing but a cold computer, calculating nothing but raw physics and karma? Wouldn’t you rather be worthy of Love than demanding of it? If you answer no to that last question, then you are in the wrong place. You would be better served going to your door, because there is a big wolf waiting for you there, and he is known to be quite impatient.


 That's just plain awesome in my book. That's so... REAL. So much MORE real than those who once were what i thought a Christian was supposed to be. I myself was once a hypocritical Christian. I didn't even see it. But by my actions at that time (sinful as they were and as ashamed as I am about them), being shunned by "Christians" from my inner circle of friends, and my plea to God for forgiveness, I finally saw that hypocrisy. I don't think I would have saw it without this succession of events.

Am I where I want to be with my relationship to God? NO. But I don't think one ever does totally get there... to get there would be complacent. I think the struggle to TRY to get there is what brings one closer to God. That act of real tears... of real pain from real remorse.

But I'm at a much better place now. I'm happy, but I still struggle with guilty feelings from past sins... which leads me to struggle to get closer to God.

Hell - if Billy can do it, I can too!! :D