I'm a mess!

We should clarify something. I'm completely, utterly, without exception... broken. I'm a mess. Here's the thing though: I have a relationship with Christ not because I’m good but precisely because I am not good. He rescued me from myself and the ruin I was causing. But He’s changing me. I’m still a mess, but I’m God’s mess.

Too many people think that Christians are right wing, extremely conservative politically, complete "do-gooders" who are hypocritical and think that they are better than you somehow... and unfortunately there are believers who are just that. I can say personally that the church I came from had the same type of people. These same people looked down their noses at people like me as well. When I was going through severe personal problems I was shunned by some of these people.

And it's people like this that make it hard to be a believer in a world of non-believers. I must admit that there have been times in my life when I've questioned "what is truth?", am I really a believer or am I just another hypocrite.

Well of course I'm a hypocrite!  I don't follow the normal 'dogma' like so many other 'religious people' do though, and honestly Jesus wouldn't have and DIDN'T. The right wing, extremely conservative politically, complete "do-gooders" who are hypocritical and think that they are better than you somehow type Christians back in Jesus' day were called Pharisees. They HATED Jesus. They actually KILLED Jesus they hated him so much. Yet, this is what Jesus warned believers of. He literally said DON'T be that way.

Don't get me wrong...I have all kinds of things wrong with me. Tons and tooooonnnns of baggage and personal problems. We all do, both believers and non-believers. Do I try to do good? Yes, but it's not because I'm trying to seek approval of others, and it's sure not to 'get into' heaven. I realize that simply by accepting Jesus, heaven is a given. BUT. I TRY to do good because I love others. I care about others. I still drink too much beer, cuss too much, have perverted thoughts, etc,  just like everyone else. Truth be told, probably MORE than anyone else. ;)

But I'm still loved. I'm a huge mess, but I'll accept that and leave that to God.